Longing for Egypt

I have always wanted the American Dream. House, yard, dog, 2.5 children, home-cooked meals, BBQ grill, and an adoring husband. A plain ol' American life. I went through a radical phase when I really resented that scenario, but the longing was always there. 

Here I am with a check in a few of those boxes, my pen poised over the box beside "house," and I have the strongest desire to toss the pen and rip up the checklist. 

I don't want to get into the woes of the home buying process. I don't want to share the details of the hardships unique to our situation. I don't want to complain about the struggles of packing and moving with 2 under 2. 

What I want to do is to share is a comparison between myself and a group of people who lived thousands of years ago. 

The Lord chose these people and promised His care and protection for them, just as He has for me. He heard their cries for help as they suffered under a fierce oppressor. He laid the foundation for their departure, allowed them to be released, and then delivered them to safety. But the difficulties of their journey had just begun. 

The land God had promised them still had to be won in more ways than one. They had to live uncomfortably for it, starve for it, and follow a leader with seemingly half-baked plans. They had to fight for it (literally). But God made their paths straight and caused them to overcome each obstacle, even when their faith in Him wavered. 

These people are just like me. 

I have been delivered from the slavery of renting my home, paying month to month for my place of residence, and investing in nothing but my landlord's pocket. I have crossed through the Red Sea of the home buying process on a prayer with no down payment, no money for closing costs, and only a small emergency fund in savings. I was faithful when The Lord said, "I have come down to deliver [you] out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring [you] up out of the land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of [many 'ites']." (Exodus 3:8)

I listened when he said "pursue this home." I followed. 

Now, here I am in the wilderness of a bug problem, bad carpets, and no air conditioning. This promised land is looking pretty grim and there are some giants in these parts that are greater and taller than I am. My manna is a government grant for the down payment, but even that process is drawing out the closing to oblivion (aka, "would that I could sit by the meat pots and die at the hand of The Lord in Egypt" [Exodus 16:3]).

I'm weary. I'm grumbling. I've set up camp in the wilderness of Sin. I'm about one more catastrophe away from striking the rock rather than speaking to it. 

BUT GOD is so faithful. Unlike the Israelites, I am sitting on the other side of Christ's atonement for my faithlessness. I have a savior who has suffered infinitely more than I can imagine, and my quest for the mundane, easy life of the typical American is in vain. I was called out of Egypt personally. By taking His hand and taking that first step off Egyptian soil, I agreed to allow myself to be delivered under any circumstances and to trust God in His promise for a better life. 

My home isn't beautiful yet, and It's only slightly functioning. However, it is part of my sanctification, the process by which I am stripped of myself and made to look more like Christ. 

[Descriptions and Analogies from Exodus, Deuteronomy]