One Year

Today marks one year in our house. It's also Harry Potter's birthday. That says something, I think.

I've been reflecting a lot in the last few days about this time last year. Looking back, it just seems like a blur of **feelings. We were negotiating with the homeowners, going through the process of applying for a loan and a grant, packing up our things only to have the closing date moved (and then moved again), and then dealing with some unexpected problems with the house, all with a toddler and a newborn in tow.

But God, being rich in mercy and love and all of the good things for his children, had told us to go. I knew it the minute I walked into the house for the first time: this is my home. In the moment I stepped out of the rain and through the front door with my little family, God put in me the strongest urge to pursue this house. (Or maybe it was a strong urge to be out of the rain mixed with postpartum feelings. Who knows.)

We hadn't looked at any other houses. We weren't even "in the market." It was just a thing that we did one day. But when I crossed the threshold, I knew God's will for us as I had only a handful of other times in our marriage. This was the place where MisterKidd and I would raise our girls, build their character, and teach them as we walk by the way. I saw us painting and repairing and changing everything together as we weren't able to in our rental. I saw us on the back porch drinking coffee as our girls played in the yard.

This strong sense of God's will sustained me through the grueling home buying process. But I made the mistake of sharing it with MisterKidd, and he used it against me exactly one year ago yesterday, when I was ready to run away from my whole life and tried to talk him out buying the house. I'd like to say my faith never wavered, but it did there for a minute. I'm glad I had the other half of my soul to remind me of what I knew was true.

One year later, I am able to take the good, forgive the bad, and love my home as I knew I could on that first day. I am so thankful for all of the people who worked with us in that home buying season by helping us move, watching our girls, bringing us food, cleaning our rental, driving us to another town to buy a new fridge, ripping up old flooring and putting down new, painting an entire level in 36 hours, and sending love and well wishes and prayers on our behalf. I do not forget you as I think of this time.

This process was sanctifying, as is any endeavor of God's calling. I hope I look more like him on this side of it, one year later.

**To catch a glimpse of those feelings, read this angst-filled post, in which I was so bold as to compare my struggles with those of the Israelites.

Misconceptions About Debt, IMHO

In the last 100 years, the concept of buying on credit has become ingrained in the collective mind of our society. Most people can't fathom a world in which they save money to make purchases, or at least to make larger purchases. A year ago, I never would have dreamed it was possible to buy a car with cash or completely pay off a house (and we've done one of those in the last 3 months). An entire faction of our economy is based on the myth that it isn't possible to do so. I'm now prepared to challenge some of the misconceptions surrounding debt. 

***Disclaimer: I am not qualified to professionally advise anyone on their finances. These opinions are from my experience only.

"There is such a thing as 'good' debt."

This is based on the myth that you need "good credit" to succeed. The way I see it, the only benefit to maintaining good credit through debt is being able to acquire more debt. That doesn't sound "good" to me.

Imagine living off the credit bureaus' grid (no one can, but go with it). Nobody cares if you pay your bills on time, if you've ever defaulted on a loan, or if you have a college education that isn't paid for. Why? Because you walk in to make your purchase, and you have cash, so you own your thing that very day.

You can do this.

"...well, that's what credit cards are for." (referring to emergencies)

I overheard a woman on a cell phone say this in Target, and it made me cringe. Having a significant amount of money in a savings account, a tin can in your back yard, under your mattress, anywhere, will reduce or eliminate the need for using a credit card for emergencies. Each individual or family should have a savings of several months of expenses for WHEN you or your spouse gets pregnant unexpectedly (September 2013), your water heater goes out (last week), you have a car accident, or a myriad of other situations. Don't let an unexpected event put you into debt. Be your own credit card company. 

How? Create a zero-based budget and CRUNCH DOWN on your spending until the money has been saved. Or follow Dave Ramsey's Seven Baby Steps. Whatev. 

"But what if you're in Target and there's something on sale for $8.99, and it's usually $40 and it will look so cute in your house? Then what?"

This has been the hardest transition for me. I love a sweet deal on house junk probably more than the next person. It's in my job description to make my home comfortable, beautiful, and functional (see what I did there?). A bargain on something I needed or something I thought would solve a household problem was a major budget buster for me before I got serious about my finances. 

My sweet friend, who shares the same love for bargains on house junk, asked me this question, and it has been the hardest piece of advice I've had to give in my debt free journey so far:

You shouldn't buy it. 

If it's not in your budget--as in "there is no amount of dollars designated on your written budget for that month with 'on sale house junk at Target' beside it"--you cannot purchase the item. And if you are going hard after being debt free/saving for emergencies, there probably isn't. 

Nine dollars does not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of budgets and debt, but $9 every Target trip would ruin me. What's more important is the discipline it creates; learning to say no to yourself and those ugly impulses stabs a basilisk fang into the heart of our society with its "instant gratification" mentality. (Sorry for the nerd moment.) We are not children who need it now. We can wait.

"I bought it because I could afford it."

This is going to be hard and ugly, but I'm just going to say it: if you owe money to a creditor, then you can't afford it. You have already promised future money earned to the entity you borrowed money from. Until that debt is paid, you cannot "afford" (in the true sense of the word) anything. You're in the red. (Note: As a mortgage holder, this is my current state. We have an active and aggressive plan to get into the black as soon as possible.)

If you're a Christian, the scriptures (Proverbs 22:7, Romans 13:8, et al.) on debt should resonate with you, as I've mentioned in a previous post. Debt is not a new concept, although I would say it's more widespread than ever. It's also not an open handed issue if the Bible is your authority.  

Having the money in your hand and being able to "afford" something are very different things. The only person who knows exactly what she can afford is someone with a zero based budget. She knows exactly how much is coming in, all of her necessary expenses have been accounted for, and she has put money aside for the unexpected. 

When the money is in your hand and you do not have a zero based budget, dollars will slip through the cracks and necessary expenses will not even enter your mind when you grab that energy drink at the gas station for the 4th time this week or cruise through the drive thru because you need dinner. Plan ahead. 

I've personally had each of these mindsets (except for the credit card; we didn't even have that when emergencies came!). There was a season of getting ready for a new baby, wading through a sea of medical bills, paying a truck loan, and living paycheck to paycheck on two non-profit worker's salaries that still makes me want to curl up into a corner when I think back. But at least I had my $9 Target treat to keep me happy...

I learned that it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to agree with me, but you should know that adopting this mentality about debt has changed everything about our family's finances, and many things about our marriage, for the better. And we are never going back. 

Planning Week Recap

Big Girl and I have returned to school time this week after another hiatus (man, I'm getting good at those). In my update a few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was taking last week off to plan for the Fall and promised to share the results.

It was a very productive week for me! I was able to accomplish some organization and decluttering projects around my house (imagine me in my pajamas at 11 pm, furiously scrubbing, painting, and rearranging my laundry room). Big Girl, on the other hand, was not a fan of the break. Sister loves her routine, and Mama not inviting her into the school room during Baby Sister's nap is not a part of that. Some mornings, she came out of her room asking for "sool time." I occasionally pulled a few things from the week before, but she didn't seem to mind that she'd seen them already!

Over the last couple of months, I have been jotting down ideas and thoughts for what we would be doing after Tot School Printables and some new things I want to incorporate. Considering the end of TSP is bittersweet; it's hard to believe our first home school season is coming to an end, but I'm so excited for the next part of our journey!

I didn't accomplish exactly what I thought I would, but I got a lot done nonetheless. So without further ado, here are 

3 Things I Accomplished During Planning Week:

1) I trimmed down my to-do list. 

I had some big, unrealistic lofty goals on my list as I began to plan last week. Part of what I accomplished was axing things off or moving them up. I had planned to prep through the end of Tot School Printables, but I ended up just prepping through "Rr is for Rainforest" because a) ink is expensive, b) our dinosaur printer is slow  3) I didn't want to plan too far ahead in case I think of an awesome activity for that theme the night before I start it, as I often do (ha). 

I had also intended to begin both a daily Bible time with both girls and a daily calendar time with Big Girl. I decided to begin only one now because of our strict budget and the fact that two new things could be overwhelming for all of us (Bible time won).

2) I nailed down exactly what we'll be doing after Tot School Printables. Almost.

As I said before, it's unbelievable that it's time to think about life after TSP with Big Girl. This has been such a wonderful season for both of us: she's getting the structure she craves plus one-on-one mom time, and I've had so much fun learning who she is as a student and who I am as a teachermom.

She's zooming through the materials I'm presenting now, so I can't wait to challenge her further in the next few months. Here's what I've got planned so far:

Reading--I'm going to make the leap and purchase our first curriculum. I've done a ton of research for a good pre-reading curriculum, and I've landed on All About Reading (which happens to be what Carisa from 1+1+1=1 uses). It also checks out with my SLP friend (Thanks Katie!). I considered just continuing to pull things together from what I find online, but as my degree is in Middle School education, I'm getting into "I'm not sure what to do next" territory, so I know I'll feel more comfortable with some guidance.

Letter Reinforcement--I want to continue doing letter focus with Big Girl, and there are tons of activities that I've found and put back for our preschool time. I like this Animal A-Z program (I promise I look outside of this blog, but it is just tailor-made for Big Girl!), but I'm still looking around for this one. Here's a really cute set of books that I'm considering purchasing if I do go this route.

Math--Oh, math. I am not a fan. MisterKidd will definitely take an even greater role in schooling our girls as this subject advances. However, it is important for life, so I will teach it! My math plans are similar to what I'm working on now: number recognition, writing numbers, one-to-one counting, and patterns. I will just continue to vary the activities I present and possibly add a "number of the week" focus. We will also be doing calendar time, which will add tons of number exposure.

Theme--This might be my favorite aspect of school time right now. I love incorporating the theme into our lives outside of the school room, decorating the school room in the theme, buying pulling toys we already have that go along with it, and reading books with Big Girl about that subject. I will definitely continue this after TSP.

The themes are built into TSP (last week was Oo is for ostrich, and the theme was African animals), so I had to develop my own method for choosing a weekly theme. I've decided to choose a book to focus on each week and build a theme around it. This will consist of all the ways I've been incorporating the theme, plus a few new ones: reading the book daily with Big Girl, doing craft/reinforcement activities throughout the week, and exploring the world inside the story with props. I'll expand on this as I get more plans on place.

Tot Trays--This Montessori-inspired method of presenting the work to Big Girl has been so successful, so it will be sticking around a little longer. It makes planning easier for me, she's able to see what's available to her, and I can see at a glance what we've already accomplished in a session without having to check my planner. Stick with what works, y'all.

3) I realized (again) the beauty of homeschool.

I am the teacher, and I have no authority (outside of God and my hot principal). I have two students. I have no deadlines, no pacing guides, and no standards to meet. Sometimes this is difficult, sometimes I'd like some structure, sometimes it's daunting, but most of the time, it's beautiful.

I didn't get all of my planning done last week. In fact, I'm planning right now at my favorite sushi place. 

But that's ok. I'm developing a complete, 16 year IEP for each of my children, and that's going to take some time.