One Year

Today marks one year in our house. It's also Harry Potter's birthday. That says something, I think.

I've been reflecting a lot in the last few days about this time last year. Looking back, it just seems like a blur of **feelings. We were negotiating with the homeowners, going through the process of applying for a loan and a grant, packing up our things only to have the closing date moved (and then moved again), and then dealing with some unexpected problems with the house, all with a toddler and a newborn in tow.

But God, being rich in mercy and love and all of the good things for his children, had told us to go. I knew it the minute I walked into the house for the first time: this is my home. In the moment I stepped out of the rain and through the front door with my little family, God put in me the strongest urge to pursue this house. (Or maybe it was a strong urge to be out of the rain mixed with postpartum feelings. Who knows.)

We hadn't looked at any other houses. We weren't even "in the market." It was just a thing that we did one day. But when I crossed the threshold, I knew God's will for us as I had only a handful of other times in our marriage. This was the place where MisterKidd and I would raise our girls, build their character, and teach them as we walk by the way. I saw us painting and repairing and changing everything together as we weren't able to in our rental. I saw us on the back porch drinking coffee as our girls played in the yard.

This strong sense of God's will sustained me through the grueling home buying process. But I made the mistake of sharing it with MisterKidd, and he used it against me exactly one year ago yesterday, when I was ready to run away from my whole life and tried to talk him out buying the house. I'd like to say my faith never wavered, but it did there for a minute. I'm glad I had the other half of my soul to remind me of what I knew was true.

One year later, I am able to take the good, forgive the bad, and love my home as I knew I could on that first day. I am so thankful for all of the people who worked with us in that home buying season by helping us move, watching our girls, bringing us food, cleaning our rental, driving us to another town to buy a new fridge, ripping up old flooring and putting down new, painting an entire level in 36 hours, and sending love and well wishes and prayers on our behalf. I do not forget you as I think of this time.

This process was sanctifying, as is any endeavor of God's calling. I hope I look more like him on this side of it, one year later.

**To catch a glimpse of those feelings, read this angst-filled post, in which I was so bold as to compare my struggles with those of the Israelites.